The following is a 5-story compilation: “Fun with our Kids” …
I see
you!
When my kids were little, I used to tease them a lot. A few
in particular stories are my favorites. When we moved into a house we rented in
Hazlet, NJ, the previous owner must have loved mirrors. There were mirrored
verticals on the big windows in the kitchen and dining room. The refrigerator
had mirrored doors, and the backsplash in the kitchen was also mirrored.
One day while washing a few dishes, my two youngest came in
and asked if they could go with a friend to play in the woods behind their
school, down the block from us. They were very young at the time – My son was 5
& daughter was almost 7, so I told them they can’t go without a parent.
They weren’t happy and were standing about 5 feet behind me when they asked,
and they got upset I wouldn’t let them go, so they stuck their tongues out at
me. Even though I was doing dishes, I saw them due to the mirrored backsplash.
I yelled out:
” Don’t stick your tongues out at me!”
They had a look of amazement on their faces and asked how I
knew they did that. I said Don’t you know? Once kids are born, Mom’s get eyes
in the back of their heads!”
Their mouths dropped, they looked at each other, and my 7
year old said she didn’t believe me!
I turned off the water, dried my hands and said, OK, I’ll
just show you, I bent over and started to part my hair in the back of my head,
and they both ran away screaming!
Yep, I went there. Call it mean. Call it emotional damage.
Call it the moment my children realized their mother might be some kind of
supernatural being. I call it genius.
I would also bet they never did anything
behind my back again! And if they did? They were probably checking first to
make sure the eyes in the back of my head were closed.
The Pet
Fish
My youngest son, Sean, had a small 10 gallon fish tank in
his room. He was 8 at the time we bought it and set it up for him. We added 2
goldfish and told him, if you feed them properly and they stay healthy for a
month, we’ll get you a few more fish.
That day had come. He did a great job taking care of his two
goldfish so I took him and my daughter to the local pet store where you could
buy some more fish. My daughter also wanted to get two hamsters.
Soon as we entered, Sean ran straight to the back of the
store to look at all the different fish in the tanks. I had my daughter Serena
we would get her two hamsters, and the same deal was made with her. If she kept
the cage clean and the hamsters healthy, she could get two more in a month. As we
approached the back of the store, I noticed above the tanks was a large sign
that said “Pet Fish”. It wasn’t there when we got him the tank and fish, so it
was new and I decided to have some fun.
I said to Sean, look, as I pointed up to the sign- it says you can “pet fish”. He said he didn’t
think that’s what the sign meant. I played dumb and said let’s ask someone that
works here. Now, I knew you couldn’t actually pet the fish, but there was a
nearby attendant in the fish section, and I wanted to see how far I could take
it, so I called him over.
I looked him right in the eye with my best "concerned
customer" expression and said, "My son would like to pet the
fish."
He looked at me with a look of surprise and said, “Ma’am…
you can’t pet fish!” I said, “Well, then
you shouldn’t put misleading signs in your store”. He asked, “What mysterious
signs are you referring to.”
I pointed up at the
sign over the tank and said that sign right there says: “Pet Fish!
We all busted out laughing at
that point, I couldn’t hold a straight face anymore. We got my son his fish and
went over to the hamster section. My daughter immediately noticed the “Pet
Hamster” sign and looked right at me and said, I don’t think that same joke
would work here Mom, and we all busted out laughing again. It was a fun day!
That employee probably went home
that night and told his family about the crazy lady arguing over false
advertising in the fish department.
The Candy
Spot
When my youngest son Sean was about 3 or 4 years old, my
older two children convinced him that our dog Max had a "candy spot."
According to them, if you poked the small brown circle
underneath Max’s tail, chocolate candy would magically come out.
I trust my readers are mature enough to understand this was
not, in fact, a candy dispenser.
That poor kid spent several minutes trying to prove the
existence of dog-generated chocolate. Despite several attempts, Sean became upset
when no candy came out.
Naturally, my older children diagnosed the problem
immediately…
"You're not poking it hard enough."
I was obviously very confused when Sean eventually came to
me in tears, convinced the candy machine was broken and asking me to fix it.
I went to investigate where this candy machine was! After my
older children explained what they'd done, I stood there trying very hard to
look like a responsible parent and not laugh.
To this day, I still have no idea where those kids learned
to be such pranksters.
Orange
Soda
Apparently Roger and I were more alike than either of us
realized. This was a second marriage for both of us. I have three kids and he
has two. When we met, he had one in college, and the other was almost there too.
My kids were in high school.
Roger said when his kids were young, he told them orange
soda tastes more “orangey” if you take a sip and roll it in your mouth before
swallowing it.
They tried it and agreed! He said
that they would take a sip and roll it around before swallowing it and then
they said, “You’re right Dad! It REALLY
does taste more orangey!
Of course it did. Nothing
improves flavor quite like being told it's going to improve flavor.
________________________________________________________________________
The Go-Go’s
Roger also told me that when his son Adam was pretty young, they were driving in the car with the radio on, and a Go-Go’s song came on: “Our Lips are Sealed."
After a while, Roger realized his son was singing the wrong words...
That kid thought the words was:
“Alex the Seal.”
I thought it was one of the funniest music blunders I ever
heard.
Even though his kids are in their 30’s, to this day I tease
Adam about it. I even downloaded it to my play list so whenever we’re having a
party, “Our Lips are Sealed” eventually comes on. What can I say, I like to be
prepared! The song ends. Everybody laughs. Adam rolls his eyes.
Some stories are worth the reminder.
The Takeaway:
Family mischief developed over two different households, long before Michele and Roger met. Yet, two separate parents managed parallelly to prank and see just how gullible their kids were by using parental creativity.
The sibling-sponsored
misinformation that occurred did not lead to a candy reward. It was never a
forgotten story!
|
Parent and Kid Meteor
Reading |
|
Category Rating Notes |
|
Belief Systems 9/10
Eyes in the back of Mom's head sent kids running.
Good job Mom! |
|
Sign Interpretation 8/10 "Pet Fish" Derived as the result
of false advertising? |
|
Candy Distribution 0/10 Dog-base failed all testing
standards. Zero candy appeared. |
|
Flavor Enhancement 7/10
Orange soda became more orangey with the power of suggestion. |
|
Misheard Lyrics 10/10
"Our Lips Are Sealed" was permanently rebranded as
"Alex the Seal." |
|
Lifetime of Teasing 10/10 Several
incidents remained active family ammunition for decades. |
